What's Happening?

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This journal is now friends only; if you would like to read the thoughts and dreams of me, then add me and comment and I will add you back. If you don't comment, then I won't. Its that easy! So lets be friends and have some fun!

• 20:19 @matthewmalice =] we love you too.. This some good sandwich... #

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• 12:26 Doesn't he own a shirt? -- ha ha ha... #
• 12:34 What happened to the Vampire Volvo of Great Justice? #
• 12:55 I gotta say the training part is really cool... #
• 15:14 So Eclipse didn't make me gag as much... Missed the end though. i wonder if that's where the gagging would've been #
• 19:55 Fireworks with Ferni... Hee hee... Eating a sandwich before we go (ref How I Met Your Mother) #

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• 21:40 Roswell (tv show) is a LOT like Twilight... Makes me wonder... #
• 06:26 @matthewmalice it's an open end... I personally think they died. Others think she lived and became famous =] great movie though #

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• 09:08 Any one know what the weird light was during the Brazil-Portugal World Cup game? UFO? #
• 09:09 @eruanna317 Root for CHILE!!!! #
• 09:09 @OMFGitsNOTjace You too... Root for Chile =] #

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• 22:16 I visited MNI for the first time in over a year... I'm lost... Where is everyone?!?! #
• 22:25 @sarcasmking It's feels so weird... I can not find my way anywhere... I miss the temp forums... #
• 07:43 @maureenjohnson Get on it at night!!!! Take pictures and send them to me... My camera messed up when I tried to do that =[ #
• 09:05 Going to Target to get Lily's birthday present... #
• 12:04 Getting ready for my niece's birthday party. I can't stop thinking about la Heidy today... I miss her so much =[ #

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First off... This is bad... Really bad... I only write here when bad things happen and that sucks...

About 6 weeks ago, a cousin from El Salvador committed suicide. And she is not just any cousin. She was one of the most amazing people in my life. She is like my little sister. She is so wonderful... But she was suffering a lot. I am not going to go into details as to what she did but it has destroyed me.

I have been crying a lot, and I feel like I will never be whole again. I feel bad for crying so much over her because wherever she is, she deserves to be happy and not have to worry about me. At the same time, however, it feels like no matter how much I cry, I will never have cried enough. 

I have so many memories of growing up with her; teaching her how to write, read and do math when she was about five (I was 10). I have memories of her and my sister fighting with me over silly things. I have memories of me calling her my little wet chicken. Her crazy songs that she came up with... Our talks over Skype in the last few months... 

And even though I have all these good memories of her, I can't stop thinking about her last night... How much she must have been suffering both physically and emotionally. I wish I could have helped her in any way; make her feel better; a bit happier. I don't think she realized how much we all loved her. Not that I'm blaming her for anything, I DO understand why she did what she did. The headaches, the constant seizures, the pain... It must have been too much to handle...

But how do I handle the loss of my Heidy? How do I deal with knowing she is not in El Salvador anymore? How can I wrap my head around the fact that when I go to El Salvador in a month and enter our house, she will not be there. Her room will be full of her essence, but I will not be able to hug her? Oh... How do I wish I could call her up right now to tell her I love her. 


Heidy... Mi primita, te quiero mucho....



Tita

• 22:06 Gonna start planning my trip to El Salvador tomorrow... I wish Ferni could go with me =[ #

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• 22:31 Just got to Twitter... Kaka SHOULD not have been sent off... GRRR #
• 23:24 I is off to bed. Gotta rest so I can root for my country-in-law tomorrow morning. CHI CHI CHI LE LE LE... Viva Chile! #worldcup #
• 08:32 Come on!!! Let's go #chile #worldcup #
• 08:45 Finally!!! Good job #Chile 1-0 Suiza #
• 08:51 @maureenjohnson yes... They just need to find the right person for them to figure it out #

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• 07:11 Support #HPAFTW!, add a #twibbon to your avatar now! - twb.ly/aciXq1 #
• 07:14 RT: @thehpalliance What would @thehpalliance do with $250,000? Vote for us at bit.ly/hpaFTW and find out. #hpaftw #

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• 16:48 On our way to Daniela's graduation... #

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• 06:59 Just voted for Hp Alliance to win $250k on Chase Community Giving! #HPAFTW bit.ly/cEEbDe - have you done your good deed for the day? #

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• 07:06 New Zeland scoring the goal to tie the game with 45 seconds left made up for me having to wake up super early #

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• 21:41 Sor Ye-Ye on channel 22!! I have not seen this movie in ages! *sings* con una sonrisa de angel sor ye-ye sirve a dios... Lalalalalalala #
• 21:48 Oh! My favorite part!!! *sings along* solo soy para ti una mas en tu vida... #
• 21:54 I love 60's music in Spanish #
• 07:01 Holanda 2, Dinamarca 0. Cant watch the rest of the games due to stupid work =[ No one should have to work during the #worldcup #
• 07:10 Come on Cameroon! You have two minutes to give me a goal before I leave for work #

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• 21:59 Some days are harder than others... Not that it's ever easy. I miss her every second of every day #
• 05:41 0-0 so far. Did not miss much. ALG vs SVN #
• 11:00 Getting ready for the next game... I love #worldcup time #
• 14:26 4-0?? Seriously Australia? No even the Honor goal? #
• 16:33 Getting ready to watch some more My Name Is Earl with @sparky08... Cold shower felt niiiice #summersucks #

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• 06:31 Will miss the Argentinian game but I should be back to root for th US #
• 07:31 I am from Central American, so I want to root fo Honduras... but I'm also married to a Chilean, so I want to root for Chile. Hon vs Chi? =[ #
• 07:32 Ferni: root for Chile if you WANT to remain married to a Chilean #
• 11:41 Nooooooo!!! Let's go USA... You can still do it #worldcup #
• 12:11 Yes!!!!! US tied now #
• 12:27 El portero de Inglaterra tiene manos de aguacate. Ha ha ha ha #fifaworldcup #

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• 07:14 World Cup starts today and I have to work... In any case, go South Africa!! Someone e-mail me the results. No twitter at work =[ #

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• 06:14 On our way to Torrance withthe hubby #

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• 22:38 Watching Prince Caspian... I hate how annoying they made Peter look, but hellooooo Caspian =P #
• 06:28 The first of the month is a busy day at work... Good morning June #
• 06:48 It feels like a Monday. I hate Mondays... #Garfieldmoment #

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• 20:02 I got my dress for my sister's wedding today... I ordered it a size smaller than I needes originally and ... It's loose on me!! =] #
• 11:07 #halftweet ... and he says he still doesn't understand why he has that burning sensation on his... #

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